Just like old people said “dream big, as high as the sky”. Once, I thought become a vet is my dream, so I try so hard to reach it. Turns out it isn’t my dream. It just something I wanna do because I love animals.
The problem is I never knew what my dream really is. My parents allow me to do everything I wanted to do, so basically I never had a chance to dream. Dream, for me, just like something that you really want to do, and you aren’t able to try to do it just yet. When you able to do it, it is not a dream anymore.
Growing up, I realize that many of my girl friends were stuck in their dreams. All have same dream: want to become business woman/work in office/have their own business. But they choose to become stay home wife and mom instead.
I don’t mean to against a full time wife and mom job. But, I just thinking. If they really happy with their choices why they whining a lot?. Have they ever look up in the mirror and ask themselves about what they really want? or about future?. How if their children grow up, have their own dreams, and their mother not in their dreams. While at the same time, their mother lives for her child, throw away their dreams for her child. Ironic isn’t it.
I just don’t want that happen to me. Dream is what make me today. I think, someday, I’ll let my child do every his/her dreams of. Hoping that he/she would never throw away his/her dream for anything as long as they live. Because they dream is what will make them in the future. Let’s living in a dream.
Yesterday, my friend told a devastating news that her best friend just passed away. She has acute asthma, that lead her to coma and she was gone before they able to reach hospital.
I only met her a couple of times, but her independency and high spirit amaze me. She love everything about Japan, and had a high hope someday to work and live in Japan.
Of course our relationship had a high and low. Especially because of her overprotective mother (which is quite understandable because her mother is a single mother which is still a taboo here in Indonesia). But when she passed away, I realize that I only remember the good side of her.
Same thing when my grandma passed away. She was kinda annoying sometimes, but I can’t remember it even a bit.
So, why can I only remember the best part of someone when they are gone?. Logically it only makes me more sad. But, I also realize that it also makes the memory last longer. I remember their smile, their jokes, their stories and all the good time we passed together.
And because of that, I can sincerely said: you will always in my heart.
(in memoriam of Rei, you will always in my heart)
Indonesian are superstitious. We were raised with so many myths and ghosts stories. One myth that we believe the most was the wheel of life.
Wheel of life is term we use to state life cycle. Like a Project Runway tagline “one day you’re in, the next day you’re out”, wheel of life tagline would be “one day you’re up, the next day you’re down”. When we are in good life situation, we said “I’m on top of the wheel”, and when the situation gone bad we said “I’m on low level of the wheel”.
A couple of days ago I dyed my hair. I was a blonde head for more than 7 years. My then boyfriend (he’s now my hubby) love the way I look with blonde hair. Somehow I just get bored, and insist to have burgundy color instead.
What struck me most was when I remember burgundy was the first color I’ve chosen 13 years ago at my very first hair dye. Now, I’m back using it. It’s like I’m on hair dye color wheel. Right now I’m back to the start.
Maybe everything in life is just like wheel, someday we will back at the start. Or, is it because at the first time, I choose the color that I like the most. I have to admit that I always like my hair to be red, but not just plain red. Burgundy purple-red hue is just perfect.
Maybe next month I become red head, and after that I become blonde head again for another 7 years, who knows?. That’s the secret of wheel of life I guess.